A Gamer Self-Limits

My 13yo son is passionate (and I mean VERY passionate) about computers. Initially we thought he would follow a path towards the practical side, building his own computer, etc, and so we got a couple of old broken computers off Freecycle for him to pull apart and play with. He enjoyed doing that, and learned a lot, but a little while later when I suggested getting some work experience at a computer repair shop, he said that the experience with the old computers had helped him come to a place of clarity in terms of what he did and didn’t like doing. He realised that he isn’t really interested in the hardware side of computers, fixing them etc.

He is more interested in using them, creating computer graphics, gaming, making videos for Youtube, creating a website and Facebook page, researching, following incredibly interesting Youtube channels such as Vsauce, ChampChong and Mythbusters. (He recently got to have a chat and a photo with ChampChong at the EB Games Expo. I was so amazed at his decorum and confidence when stumbling upon one of his Youtube heroes. He didn’t go all ga-ga like I would have if I’d known who he was, but he also didn’t shy away. He was full of absolute confidence when walking up to him for a chat, to the point that I thought he was talking to someone he already knew!)

To support him in this interest, we managed to scrape together some funds to purchase an entry level gaming computer, headset etc, which he is making VERY good use of, let me tell you! He really enjoyed the process of researching different suppliers, different brands and infrastructure (probably not the right word) and then selecting the components he wanted and kind of building it virtually in a way.

gamer_self_limits_unshackledThen for his birthday this year, we got him a USB recording microphone. And a ukelele, just for something randomly different (his request).

ukelele_unshackled

He spends a major part of his life sitting at that computer, which brings me much joy. Truly! I know he is doing what he loves, pursuing his interest, and learning ever so much along the way. And he has also made some new friends and even met some face to face (I hesitate to say “in real life” because his life and their relationship is just as real whether it is via a computer or face to face).

gaming_with_friend_unshackled

(P.S. They didn't "just do gaming" when they met face to face, either. It's amazing how long they attempted to throw those tennis balls through that little tiny hole, and how much fun they had doing it!)
(P.S. They didn’t “just do gaming” when they met face to face, either. It’s amazing how long they attempted to throw those tennis balls through that little tiny hole, and how much fun they had doing it!)

I am more interested in supporting him in his passions, than I am in trying to somehow construct my own version of “balance” for him. We have talked occasionally about eye strain, and ways to combat it (he wants a pair of computer gaming glasses to help reduce strain when looking at computers etc. I think I want a pair too! Don’t tell him, but whenever I get the chance, I “borrow” them!). We also talk about needing to get up and move about every so often. It isn’t a demand or a forced thing, but rather a natural conversation, and the giving and receiving of information.

Just now, he surprised me (and hence the impetus for this post) by announcing that he’s set up a system for himself whereby while he is gaming he listens to a music playlist by Monstercat that goes for about an hour. When the playlist finishes, he stops what he’s doing on the computer (unless he’s in the middle of something that can’t easily be paused) and gets up to do something different for awhile, stretch his legs and so on.

I am quite confident that if I had instigated and insisted upon such a thing, and was trying to enforce it, his involvement in the process might be unhappy compliance, but with the idea being his own initiative, there is nothing for him to resent, or resist. He is learning to listen to his body, to find a solution that is fun and helpful, and he hasn’t had to endure any coercion (however subtle) from me at all.

I am actually feeling inspired by his decision, and think I might just go and stretch my own legs now. Bye! 🙂

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Karen Lee

FAMILY: Married since 1989 (does that make me old?), a full-time Mum since 1993, and unschooling my kids since 2005. On a journey of learning to live free and fully loved as God intended, following Jesus rather than an institution or "religion". Caring for the world and its people as best as I can.